Sometimes I struggle with prayer.
Not the bow your heads as we all come together to close up this worship service type of prayer. Not the constant back-and-forth muttering, wrestling, surrendering to the Creator of the Universe type of prayer.
But the grocery listing of all the things in this world that are broken and need mending type of prayer. The begging for divine intervention type of prayer. And more specifically, the I have this deep and seemingly God-given desire to fall in love, get married, and have kids, and so I’m gonna plead with the Almighty One to find me a husband type of prayer.
My friend Bianca notices that I don’t seem to have much fight, at least when my personal interests are concerned. My friend Kyle wonders if I have issues feeling worthy. And my friend Joy fearlessly petitions Him on my behalf.
Their words, observations and prayers are of course appreciated but me, I still struggle with saying that prayer.
Yes, I wholeheartedly believe in an all-knowing and all-powerful God. I wholeheartedly believe that God has a plans for me, plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me a hope and a future. And I wholeheartedly believe that God can move mountains, He can heal the sick, and He can perform miracles on a whim.
But what I can’t seem to reconcile is that He wants to hear me groan about my singleness. That He doesn’t already know what my heart desires. And that He would divert His perfect-for-me plan based on my fumbling attempt at words.
So yes, sometimes I struggle with prayer.
How about you? Do you struggle with prayer?
And…what are your thoughts on praying for a husband?
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