Can I be honest? Really honest?

If I had to use one word to describe my spiritual life right now I would use the word…begrudgingly.

I am following God…begrudgingly.

I am pursuing God…begrudgingly.

I am believing God is for me…begrudgingly.

My faith right now is envious. It is jealous. And it’s a little resentful.

My faith right now is reluctant. It is hesitant. And it’s a little averse.

I know. I know. Begrudingly is not the adverb that one wants to use when describing their spiritual journey. Heck, it’s certainly not the word I am chasing.

But maybe, just maybe, by shedding light on it, and calling a begrudge a begrudge, I can finally get to the bottom of what is going on with me and I can finally have an honest conversation with God.

What one word would you use to describe your spiritual journey right now? 

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