The last few days I joined what seems like the rest of the internet spellbound as I read the following two posts by Donald Miller. And even more so by the comments that ensued.
How to Write a Great Love Story – For the Girls
How to Write a Great Love Story – For the Boys
Things you should know before you read any further:
1. I have much respect for Donald Miller. I absolutely loved Blue Like Jazz. And think A Million Miles in a Thousand Years might be one of the most definitive books I have ever read. It changed the way I think. More accurately, it changed the way
I live.
2. I understand that I, and maybe others, have, and will continue to, use our blogs as a safe space for us our thoughts out there. And sometimes Tom, Dick, and Harry will read said blogs and become enraged by how we are trying to redefine Truth when what we were really trying to do is provoke candid honest dialogue, clarify our thoughts on a particular subject or drive traffic.
3. I truly appreciate the thoughtful conversations that Donald Miller provoked both online and off by opening this proverbial can of worms.
4. I think Don spoke a lot of truth. Come on, girls, we shouldn’t be slutty. We do need to have some self-respect. We do need to have some faith. And men, we are begging for you to be someone worth waiting for, we want you to demand more from us than a one night stand, and we would love nothing more than to see you get off your couch and start living a story that we are proud to be a part of.
5. I am no expert on dating or great love stories. I am, in fact, somewhat of an expert on being single {although that is not anything I would ever want to be remembered for}.
Okay now for my thoughts, or really, my questions.
What is the role of a woman in a great love story really? Surely all the single woman are not supposed to stay home eating Bon Bons, praying, crying, and wearing matchy-matchy flannel pajamas?
Why is so much attention put on a woman’s seductive ways? Yes, Eve caused the fall in the garden but didn’t the same story teach us that Adam should have taken responsibility for his own bad choices?
Can single women be close friends with single guys? I know. We’ve covered this one. But can they? It never seems to work for me. Well, it always starts out nice and then at some point it takes a turn for the crazy. One thing leads to another, feelings develop, and instead of the creation of healthy boundaries, my “crush” {aptly named} begins to validate himself by my unrequited attention and admiration. Or maybe that is just me? Maybe the rest of you have navigated this better?
Should a women ever initiate a relationship with a person of the opposite sex? Or is that just too bold? Is that the work of a temptress? When is the right time for faith in waiting? And when is the right time for faith in action?
How do you put yourself “out there” so guys want to date you? How much of my time should I spend focusing on my singleness and how much of my time should I focus on living my own great story? Shouldn’t I just concentrate on being the best version of myself, on closing the gap between who I am and who I am created to be, and the “right person” {if that exists} will find me attractive?
I would love to hear what you think. As always please keep it civil {or your comment won’t stick around.}
And I will leave you with this bit of Truth that Paul shared with the Corinthians. It has provided comfort and direction for me in this time of singleness.
32-35I want you to live as free of complications as possible. When you’re unmarried, you’re free to concentrate on simply pleasing the Master. Marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life and in wanting to please your spouse, leading to so many more demands on your attention. The time and energy that married people spend on caring for and nurturing each other, the unmarried can spend in becoming whole and holy instruments of God. I’m trying to be helpful and make it as easy as possible for you, not make things harder. All I want is for you to be able to develop a way of life in which you can spend plenty of time together with the Master without a lot of distractions. 1 Corinthians (The Message)
Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.